Into Your Arms: Extra's
by WakeUpSunshine
Summary: MUST READ INTO YOUR ARMS TO UNDERSTAND THESE EXTRAS! Just different missing moments from Into Your Arms.
1. Dear Tanya,

MUST READ INTO YOUR ARMS TO UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS!

So, I decided instead of sending these in reviews I'll just start a whole new story for these extra's. It was getting seriously difficult keeping up with all of the different ones. :) Hope you guys like it this way better. I sure know it will be easier for me.

This minichapter was sent out to my reviewers of Chapter 34. It was the letter Edward mentioned writing to Tanya in Chapter 33.

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Dear Tanya,

There's so much I need to tell you in this letter. I guess I should start at the beginning of it all. My life has changed dramatically since you left Alexa and me. But you know that. I told you that in Seattle when I dropped you off at the rehab center.

What I didn't tell you is that I'm in love with the woman i left sixteen years ago. I kept that from you because I didn't find that it was any of your business. Now i think you should know that I plan to marry this woman. I plan to make a whole family with her. That includes her adopting Alexa.

You have no say in this, I know that but I felt you should know that I plan on asking her to adopt Lex one day.

She's the perfect mother for Alexa. She loves her as her own and i couldn't be happier to have her in our lives.

I felt that even if you have no rights to Alexa you still needed to know that another woman would be taking your place in her life. I will tell you that one day we plan on telling Alexa about you. That's why I want you to get clean. Maybe that makes me selfish but there is no way I'm going to tell my daughter that her biological mother is dead because of her own stupid mistakes.

You and I met under the wrong circumstances. I thought I wanted you. I really thought I could love you, Tanya. You weren't and still aren't available to me. I knew that then and I know that now.

I also wanted you to know that Alexa is the most amazing gift you could have ever given me. I love her. She helped me through so much after you just gave her off to me without a second look at her. She's my heart; my life. So, I want to thank you for that.

I'm happy, Tanya. for the first time in forever I am truly happy. I'm going to be a father again and I could ask for anything more in my life. But you should know you're responsible for half of my happiness by giving me Alexa. Without her I would be nothing.

I enclosed a picture of her in the envelope. I told you once I never wanted you to see her but I feel you should see how amazing she's growing up. She looks so much like you.

This letter is a way of goodbye. I need to completely let you go from my life and Alexa's. One day you might get a call from her but until then I have to ask you to never contact me again.

I've got you into rehab now that all I can do for you anymore.

Goodbye,

Edward Cullen.


	2. It's Positive?

This was sent out to reviewers of Chapter 35. I'll be posting alot of these type of moments from Bella's past in these extras.

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Bella age 16

God help me. Help me by telling me this test is wrong. Or I have cancer. Yeah, I think I could handle cancer better then this right now.

Alice stood in front of me walking back and fourth as I trembled sitting on the edge of the bathtub. I hadn't even told her it was time to look at the test yet. I finally cleared my throat and Alice looked over at me with wide eyes.

"So, what's it say?" She urged me to tell her.

"It's positive?" I let tears run down my face at this moment. I can't be pregnant. There is no possible way I can be pregnant at sixteen. Edward has already left me. Now I get to ruin his life by telling him 'oh hey, baby? Remember that night before you left for college? Yeah, the night I sort of tricked you into having sex with me. Well, I'm pregnant!' No. I can't do this. I can't do this to him. I can't do this to me.

Alice got down on her knees to sit in front of me. She put her hands on my knees.

"Bella, I'm here. Charlie's here. Renee will be here. I know you're scared but you're going to get through this." She tries to tell me. I shake my head. "Do not shake your head at me, Isabella Swan! You're going to listen to me and you're going to believe what I'm saying." The little pixie tells me sternly.

"Will you be there when I tell my parents?" I ask through my tears. I don't think I can do it alone. I need Alice to be there.

"Of course!" She smiled widely. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. I knew she was trying to make me feel better about all of this. "You're having a baby, Bella! A little life is in you right now. Can you believe it?" She laughed.

"No, not exactly." I shook my head. There's no way I can believe it right now. It's all too much. All too new.

"What about Edward?" She stood up.

"What about him?" My voice rose a little.

"Well, he is the father. Right?" She looked at me pointedly.

"Of course he is!" I quickly stood up in front of her. "But, I haven't decided what to do about him yet. He's in college and I think that's where I want him to stay. Right now I can't think about him. Right now I need to focus on telling my parents and school. Oh God, school." I felt like I was about to pass out. I felt so sick just thinking about all of this.

I jumped a little when I heard the front door slam shut. Charlie was home. It was now or never. So, I took a deep breath and let Alice guide my downstairs.

I was prepared for yelling. I was prepared for everything but the calmness in his voice.

After Charlie had set me up an appointment at the hospital I called Renee. She was the one I was most worried about. I glanced at Alice before dialing my Mother's number.

She was even more calm then Charlie. That surprised me completely. Renee is not this type of woman. I expected yelling much like I had with Charlie but much more worse.

The next day is when I found out she was moving back despite the fact that Phil would stay on the road. She told me she wanted to be near me to help me raise this baby.

I really couldn't have asked for better parent's.


	3. Masen Anthony Swan

This was sent to reviewers of Chapter 36. It's possibly my favorite minichapter that i've written so far. :)

Bella age 16: Masen's birth.

Alice shut the camera off moments after Masen was born. I introduced my baby to the world. Those tapes were for Edward. They were for when he came back to me. I wanted him to at least have a way to see Masen's birth and growing up. Even if he wasn't in our lives.

I just had this feeling that one day he'd come back. He loved me too much to just let me go like that. Then again he was making this whole new life in New York. He'd move on and have a family. I'd raise our son alone.

Masen's birth had been anything but easy. I was a full week late, not to mention I had ended up hemorrhaging during labor which resulted in a c-section. I'd never been so scared in my life.

"Hello, beautiful boy." I whispered to my tiny infant. He was wrapped up in a blue blanket yawning and stretching his tiny arms. I couldn't help but smile at the baby I had helped make. He was perfect. Every little part of him was perfect. He opened his bright green eyes to me and I couldn't help but gasp every time I saw them. They were the exact color of his father's. I let my hand travel through his light wisps of hair. His hair was just as bronze as Edward's hair is now.

I couldn't believe that such a little boy could come out of me. This little baby was mine. All mine.

"Oh Bella!" Renee burst through the doors. She had been right there next to me during his birth along with Alice but she ended up having to go home after he was born. "My grandbaby!" She exclaimed reaching for him. I bit my lip. I wasn't ready to let anyone else hold him. I wanted to keep him all to myself. I think Renee realized this because she took her arms back and just smiled at us.

"He looks like Edward doesn't he?" I frowned slightly.

"Oh, Bells. He looks like the both of you." She smiled. I just nodded. No, this little boy looked nothing like me. He was all Edward. "So, what's his name?" She asked.

"Masen Anthony Swan." I smiled looking down at my baby. He squirmed a little but settled back into me. "After his father and my father." I whispered. Masen Anthony was for Edward. Swan was for Charlie. Masen was surely a Cullen but I felt better giving him the last name of Swan. Charlie would be proud to know he had a grandson that could carry on the family name. Without Masen I was the end of it since Charlie had been an only child.

"It's perfect." I heard Charlie say from the doorway. I nodded. It was perfect.

"My little Masen." I whispered to him. I was in pure bliss at this moment. Nothing could bring me down.

That is until I heard Charlie telling the nurse about where Masen's father was. That's when the tears came to my eyes and I shoved Masen into Charlie's arms. He looked at me like I had grown two heads. I just shook my head and turned over in the bed. I couldn't look at him. Not right now.

For three days I couldn't look at him. Two days were spent in the hospital with the nurses taking care of him instead of me. The next day was spent with Charlie taking care of my son.

After that day Charlie refused to take care of my kid for me. He yelled and screamed making me realize that my little boy needed me more then anyone's ever needed me before.

So, from that day on I pushed back my past with Edward and focused on my boy.


	4. Moving To New York

This was sent to reviewers of Chapter 37. This is the first of many done in Edward's POV. :)

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Edward 19: Moving to New York

I knew leaving Bella back in Forks could possibly break both of our hearts. I had been in love with the girl since she had moved to Forks at 13. I had only stayed her friend until her fourteenth birthday. I felt too much for her to not pursue something. I hadn't known then that she had the same feelings for me. I had been expecting to be turned down right on the spot, but I wasn't. Instead Bella planted a kiss right on my lips. I could have died right then and I would be content because I had those precious lips on my own.

We'd been inseparable since. We'd gotten into one fight during our years together. Of course of took the blame for that one. I just didn't believe that she was ready to take that step further into our relationship. She was fourteen, could she possibly believe I was the one for her to lose her virginity to? I wanted her to be sure. It was a year later when it brought up again. I knew she was ready. I was ready. We were in love and nothing could get in our way.

That is until I got my acceptance letter from NYU the next year. She pretended to be happy for me, but I knew she wasn't. I had told her that I would come back for her when college was over. I'm still not sure if I can do that. I'm 18 and she's still only 16. She deserves so much more then me. I know I want her to be happy, I know she will be even without me. She has to be. Then again I am a very selfish boy and can't possibly ever think of Bella being with anyone else.

I took a deep breath looking for my dorm room. This move was killing me. I wasn't sure I was going to handle being away from my Bella for the next four years. I had already made it clear to my parents that I would try being without Bella but if I couldn't handle it then I'd go back to her. They told me that they understood but really wanted me to focus on my education right now.

I opened the door to my dorm and was greeted with a blonde haired guy looking around the room. I gave him a small smile and really wished I could have gotten a single. I'd have to check into that for the next semester.

"Edward Cullen." I stuck my hand out to shake his. I knew his name was James from the packet I had received a few weeks before.

"James Tracker." He shook my hand. "I took this bed if that's alright." He pointed towards the bed on the right side of the room. I nodded. I didn't care much which bed I was given.

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'm going out, so I'll see you later." He waved before leaving the room. I took a breath of relief. I was actually happy to be alone with my thoughts right now.

Before I started unpacking I sat down on my bed and decided to call Bella. I got her voicemail of course. That was my typical Bella. She was always bad about picking up her phone.

I was missing her like crazy as I let my head fall into my hands. I wondered if I could even get through this year without her.

There was a knock on the doorframe of the room. I realized that James had left the door opened. I looked up and found a tall blonde standing in front of me. She was pretty but she was no Bella. No girl would ever compare to my Bella.

"Um…hi." I nodded towards her then stuck my hand out.

"I'm Kayla. I live down the hall from you, I passed by your room and realized you looked like you needed a friend." She smiled.

"Edward." I tried to smile but it just wasn't working out too well.

"You left a girl back home, huh?" She sighed. "Either that or you're gay because you are one gorgeous man." She giggled. I was used girls being forward like that towards me. I never thought anything of it.

"Um, yeah." I said not really wanting to go into more detail.

"Well, Edward if you ever get lonely here's my number and room number." She handed me a piece of paper with her numbers on it. I knew I'd throw it away after she left but I didn't want to be rude. "It was nice meeting you." She flashed me a smile.

Needless to say I spent the next four months upset that Bella had changed her number. Even her home line had been changed. Alice refused to tell me anything, so that meant Jasper was no help. Emmett kept our conversations short not even answering my questions about Bella.

I spent another month before I called Kayla. I hadn't even meant to keep her number.

I'd gotten close to my James after awhile. We ended up rooming together the next semester as well. He had been the one to urge me to call her. Apparently according to him I needed to get laid. I wasn't looking for a relationship with Kayla and thankfully she didn't want either.

After that Kayla had become the girl I went to when I was frustrated or just needed to stop thinking about Bella for just a second.

After every time I spent with Kayla I felt like I was cheating on Bella. I knew I was an idiot for leaving Bella but apparently she was doing okay without me. After all she had made it completely impossible for me to reach her.


	5. Masen's 3!

This is a brand new Minichapter that had not been sent out yet. Hope you enjoy. :) I'll be posting these on possibly a daily basis since they are so easy to write.

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Bella age 19: Masen's 3

"Masen!" I cried running after my wiry haired three year old. He was running around Charlie's house naked as a jay bird. Charlie stood at the end of the hall way laughing as he scooped Masen up.

"Hey little man." He chuckled.

"Grandpa, mommy said I'm three tomorrow!" He stuck up his fingers in front of Charlie's face practically poking him in the eye.

"You're a big boy. So, why are you running from her?" He asked.

"'Cause boys don't take baths." He pouted folding his arms over his chest. I sighed and leaned my body against the doorframe of the bathroom. Between work, school and taking care of Masen, I was beyond tired. I just wanted to get him bathed and into bed so I could pass out. Tomorrow I'd be up at the crack of dawn with Alice having to get ready for Masen's party.

This was difficult being an only mother. Sure I had my parent's but for the most part I was alone.

Tomorrow would mark the third year of my boy's life. The third year that I've been without Edward. Just thinking about him depressed me. I couldn't show it, though. I refused to do that. I had to be strong for Masen.

Masen had come home a week ago pouting and asking me why the other kids at daycare had daddy's and he didn't. I wasn't really sure what to tell him. I couldn't tell him the truth. Not yet. I couldn't say Edward was dead, that was a huge lie so I settled on just telling him his daddy loved him very much and he'd come back for us.

It was a lie. I knew that. I shouldn't have given my son that kind of hope. Edward hadn't or would never come back for us. It just wasn't written in the books for us anymore. It was all this big sign that Edward and I weren't meant to be. I was meant to be Masen's mommy and nothing more. He was my life now.

Charlie was able to coax Masen into the bath a little bit later. He refused to let me wash him so my aging father got down on his knees to bathe my little boy.

Just as I suspected Alice had woken me up at seven am the next morning. Needless to say I was pissed.

"This is for your son, so get your happy butt up and into the kitchen to make that cake!" She clapped. I didn't have much money to spare lately so baking Masen's cake was the only way to go. I must say I baked a pretty good cake. My son liked it at least. That's all that mattered.

Alice decorated Charlie's living room with so many streamers and balloons that we could barely move around. She had gone a little overboard but Masen loved it all.

Masen was blowing out his candles now. The most heartbreaking thing happened when he made his wish.

"I wish my daddy would hurry home." He'd whispered it out loud. I knew he hadn't meant for me to hear but I did. I had to leave the room and let Alice attend to the cake. I walked upstairs and sat down on my bed. I had guests to attend to but it didn't matter.

I reached my hand out and picked up my phone. I wanted to dial his number. Even if he didn't have the same number I just felt like I needed to. So, I dialed it. Then I hung up. The number didn't call back thankfully. I wouldn't have picked it up anyway.

I took a deep breath when I heard someone entering the room. I smiled at Emmett as he walked over and sat on my bed.

"I heard it, too." He took my hand. I just looked at Emmett and gave him a smile. "You can't beat yourself up over this, Bella. Masen's a happy boy and sure things would be easier if Edward was here but he's not so you deal. You tell that kid that he is very much loved even if his father isn't in his life."

"I told him Edward would come back for us. God, Emmett why would I do that?" I cried.

"Because you're hoping he will." Emmett let go of my hand.

"I dialed his number a second ago. I hung up quickly after…I couldn't talk to him. So, I chickened out." I sighed.

"You'll do it when your ready. In the mean time I'll give you his new number." I glanced up at Emmett. "I keep in touch with him from time to time but he's got no clue about the kid. He asks about you sometimes but I tell him to just leave it alone. You're happy."

"Thanks." I gave him a small smile. Maybe if he told Edward that I wasn't happy he'd return to me. Yeah right, he wouldn't care. Edward Cullen didn't love me like he used to. He'd especially not love me when he saw our little boy.


	6. Tanya's Decision

I figured i'd try something different. Tanya's POV. :) There's a bit of cussing in this.

Tanya's Decision.

I let my hands run through my almost unruly strawberry blonde hair as I stared at the screen. The doctor left me alone to get some more paper to take the picture of my baby. I was freaking out. This is real. My little girl is living in there.

I've always had this thing for Edward Cullen. He was the most amazing man I'd ever met since I've been working at the club. He pulled me in making me fall in love with him almost instantly. I'd always promised myself that I'd never fall for a customer but Edward was so much more then that. It was all too much to handle so I decided I didn't want to pursue that relationship any longer. It was hard to just let him go. I quit the club and started working for a friend of mine across town. The money was worse but I knew Edward wouldn't be on this side of town. There would be no chance I'd see him again.

I had been working for James since I started out in the business almost ten years ago. I had met him though a few friends and when he told me he was opening up a strip club I jumped at the chance to work there. I wasn't sure why I did it but I'd always had interest in exposing my body. It was my insecurities taking over. It was because my entire childhood my parents belittled me. I was ugly and would never make it in life. I decided I wanted to show them. If I was so ugly then why did I have guys begging at my

fucking feet every night?

"Ms. Denali?" My gynecologist licked his lips. I knew why. I knew this guy. He had come to the club a lot, mostly on the weekends to get away from his wife. "Fuck, Tanya you're even sexy pregnant." He breathed. I just rolled my eyes. What kind of sick fuck would be hitting on a six month pregnant woman?

"Can you just take the picture, Ricky? I've got things to do." I tell him.

"Yeah, sure." He nodded then turned back to me. "Is there any way that I can see you later?" He asked.

"You know where I live just stop by." I shrugged. I didn't care. I was already pregnant so whatever. Plus Ricky was a pretty good fuck when he wanted to be.

"I'll be there." He moaned. "You got some stuff?" He asked then. I just looked away and shook my head. I had quit selling and using drugs when I found out I was pregnant. I was missing them and my body had gone though the worse withdraw that I had ever felt. Even if I didn't want this baby it didn't deserve to be treated like shit. Which is exactly why I already knew what I was doing with her. Her father would take her. I knew he wouldn't turn her away.

I left the doctor's office with the picture in my hand. I'd hold on to this for the rest of my life. It was the last thing I had of her. I wasn't even sure I wanted to see her after the birth. Even if I didn't want her I knew with just one look she'd probably pull me in. Especially if she had those amazing green eyes of her daddy's. I took a deep breath thinking about Edward again. I wished I could be sharing this with him right now but Edward deserved so much more then a whore who would never change. I didn't want to. I just wanted to have this baby and go back to my old lifestyle.

My apartment was one large room. It was a dump but it was home.

I was thankful I never brought Edward here. He'd taken me to his place instead. I remember waking up the next morning imagining myself in his life, in that house. It felt wrong. I didn't belong there. I wasn't good enough for him and the sooner he realized that the better. So, I left without a word. It was easier that way.

I frowned when there was a knock on the front door. There was no way that Ricky would be here yet. No, the person on the other side of my door was James. I hadn't seen him since I quit all those months ago. He had no clue I was pregnant.

"Please fucking tell me that's not mine." I just rolled my eyes as he looked at my stomach.

"It's not yours." I say walking into my house not inviting him in but I knew he'd come in anyway. "What do you want James?"

"I wanted to fuck but that's obviously not happening." The blond jerk smirks at me. I have this rage inside of me that's telling me to kill him right now. I could strangle him, that'd be the easiest. I'd stab him but then I'd have to clean up the blood.

"Who said?" I hated this guy but angry sex with James was the best.

"That shit will get in the way."

"Take me from behind." I shrug. James smiles at me and closes the door quickly. I knew that would get him in.

* * *

It happened a few months later when I finally got the guts to tell Edward I was pregnant. He was pissed but he agreed to take the baby. I told him I would sign away every right I had as her mother. It was the only way he'd take her. I didn't hesitate signing those papers.

When she was born I got one look at her. She looked like Edward. She was beautiful. I wanted to hold her but Edward had taken her all too quickly. I wanted to say goodbye to her. I had carried her for nine months and despite what I wanted to believe I had gotten close to her. I just couldn't handle her. There was no place in my life for a baby.

I named her. It had been the only thing I asked of Edward. Alexandra was for my Mother who I hated with a passion but still loved her because she was my Mom. Elizabeth was for Edward's biological Mother. He had told me that when I asked if I could name her. He decided he'd call her Alexa. I would have picked Lexie or something cuter but she wasn't my daughter. She was Edward's and possibly one day she would have a real mother.


	7. Friends With Benefits?

Some of you wanted to know how Jacob and Bella's friends with benefits relationship started so this is it...:) I love writing these minichapters. Even if they aren't so mini anymore. hehe.

Please tell me if there are any extra's you would like to read. I'll be glad to write those. :) Plus, I love suggestions.

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Friends with benefits?

"Mama, do you have to go out?" My ten year old boy whined. I didn't want to go out just as much as he didn't want me to, but I promised Jake I'd try this. I have pushed back this date on several occasions. I have run out of excuses.

"Oh baby, I'll be back." I sighed feeling like a terrible mother. "You love staying with Uncle Emmett, just think of this as any other time you spend the night with him." I ruffled his bronze hair. Masen looked more and more like Edward every day.

Masen pouted and smoothed down his hair. He was always complaining about how messy it already was without me messing it up. He spent hours in front of the bathroom mirror trying to get it to lay down. When he was eight I woke up to find him in my bathroom with so much gel in his hair. It took days for me to be able to wash it all out completely. He never did that again. Now he just took a comb to it.

"But…"

"I thought you liked Jacob." I sighed.

"I do but everything is going to change, Mama. I don't want anything to change. I like it just being you and me." He says. I smile sadly at him. Masen hated things changing. He hated me getting the job at the hospital because my hours were wacky. He hated when we moved into our own house, he didn't want to change his routine with Charlie. I tried telling him change was a part of life but his ten year old mind wasn't grasping that.

Masen frowned and stumped off towards the front door when the bell rang. I bit my lip hoping it was Emmett and not Jacob yet.

"You're early." I heard my son practically growl at one of his favorite people. "My Mama doesn't wanna go out with you, so go home." I've never seen Masen act like this before. It was so unlike him.

I quickly walked towards the door. Masen was giving Jacob some pretty hilarious dirty looks. I had to bite back a laugh.

"Emmett's not here yet, Jake. You can come inside." I tried to smile. Masen just stood there still looking pissed off that Jacob even showed up.

Jacob looked confused at Masen's expression. I just shrugged. I was suddenly regretting this. It was wrong. I was still in love with Edward. I shouldn't do this to Jacob. I couldn't do this to myself but there was no backing out now. Unless I tell Masen to fake being sick. Then I could just keep telling Jacob that I couldn't date him.

I was about to ask Masen to go in the kitchen with me when the front door opened. Emmett's loud voice boomed through my house. Masen softened his face when he saw his uncle. Emmett was a life saver. He was my brother even if we weren't blood related. He was the only guy I could trust besides my little man. Plus he's been there for us from the beginning of all of this.

"Sorry I'm late, Bells. Traffic was pretty bad." Emmett says.

"That's fine." I smiled at him. Masen started tugging on Emmett's hand to leave. He had turned into a completely different kid now that Emmett was around.

"I love you, baby boy." I walked over and kissed Masen's cheek. He wiped it off and grimaced at me. I just laughed. I knew it was because Emmett was here. He didn't want to act like a mama's boy around him. "No caffeine or sugar. He needs to be in bed by ten and please, Em, no scary movies." I look at Emmett sternly. The last time Masen stayed the night Emmett had him watch The Exorcist and it took Masen weeks to get over it. He'd wake up screaming every night and I'd have to comfort him.

"He can handle a little scary movie. Right, Champ?" He ruffled Masen's hair. He didn't even fuss at Emmett for messing up his hair. My boy smiled and nodded. I could still tell he didn't like the idea of watching another scary movie.

"He's still only ten, Emmett."

"I know that. Alright, no scary movies." Emmett pouted. Masen looked happy about that.

"We should get going, Bella." I felt Jacob's hand on my waist. I was startled and noticed that Emmett was glaring at Jacob. Masen wasn't paying attention anymore. He was just trying to get to Emmett's house as soon as possible.

* * *

The date was okay. I hated how comfortable I felt with Jacob. I should have known that though, we've been friends for years. Still there wasn't that spark I wanted to feel. It just wasn't there and I had a feeling it would never be.

It was past midnight when we got back to my place. I wasn't sure how we were supposed to end the night. Even if Jacob was no Edward he was still a gorgeous man. I watched him lick his lips then push me up against my front door.

That was all it took for me to attack him. I pushed everything else out of my mind at that moment. Nothing else mattered. All that mattered right now is that I was about to get laid for the first time in over ten years.

I pushed Jacob away instantly. There was just one thing I needed to tell him before this happened.

"We aren't in a relationship."

"Friends with benefits?" He asked panting. I just nodded. He attacked my lips before pulling away. "Works for me."

That's all it took for me to grab my keys and quickly unlock my front door. Jacob closed the door. He picked me up and threw me over he shoulder running upstairs to my bedroom. I couldn't help but laugh. My laugh died when I landed on the bed.

The whole time Jacob kissed me I could only see Edward's face.

I knew this wasn't fair but I needed this right now. I needed to feel this.

Plus Jacob was a pretty damn good kisser. I couldn't imagine what else he could do with that mouth.


	8. You're Joking Right?

Edward was a different guy before Alexa was born and this minichapter shows that. This was a suggestion from babylopez2008, so this is pretty much dedicated to her! (I hope this is good enough!) I encourage all of you to PM or review suggestions.

**You're Joking Right?**

I wasn't expecting to find Tanya at my front door. I hadn't seen or heard from her for eight months. Now I see why. I can't take my eyes off of her large belly. We haven't spoken a word to each other. All I can do is stare.

I'm just praying to God that the baby in there isn't mine. I'm not ready to be a father, even if I'm thirty two years old. The lifestyle I live is no place for a child to be born into. I sleep around, I party all night and drink until the sun comes up. There's no way I could take care of this kid.

_God, I'm already freaking out and it's still a possibility that she's not pregnant with my kid. _

"What are you doing here?" I can't stand the silence any longer. I need to know what's going on.

"Can I come inside?" She asks. I don't want her inside my apartment. I want her to leave. I've gotten over her, I thought I wanted a relationship with this woman, I even thought I could change her. But, I couldn't and I don't plan on trying again. "You might want to sit."

"No, I don't think I do." I can't help but be hostile. I'm too pissed off that she's here to be nice.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, Edward." That's when I knew. I knew that it was mine. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

"You're joking right?" I let out a nervous laugh. "It can't be mine."

"She is. Everything matches up, Edward." I watched as she started to cry. I had no clue what to do now. I couldn't walk over and comfort her, no that was the last thing I wanted to do. She kept this shit from me for eight months! "I can't be a mother."

"And I can't be a father."

"You don't see it, Edward. You need this baby." She spoke sitting down on my couch. "She's yours and I want you to take her."

"Why should I do that?"

"Because behind that mask you're wearing you're really a great guy. You have a heart of gold and that's what she deserves." _Shit_. I didn't know what to do. Could I really take this kid alone? Could I be a father despite everything? "Please, Edward."

I ran my hand through my hair and started pacing my living room. I needed to make a decision and judging by how big Tanya was I needed to make it quick. I looked over at Tanya and watched her wince.

"I swear she's going to be a soccer player." I heard her laugh. I took swift steps towards Tanya. She reached out and took my hand placing it in the spot that the baby had kicked.

Feeling that I just knew what my answer would be.

"I have one condition." I knew that I had to do this. I knew that if I took this baby that I didn't want Tanya in her life. She was giving this baby away, why should I let have any rights to her?

"Anything." She whispered keeping her hand over mine as the baby kept kicking.

"You sign away all of your rights."

"Done." She rubbed her belly. "I don't even want to see her after she's born. She's all yours now."

I just nodded. I had nothing more to say to her.


	9. Alexandra Elizabeth Cullen

BabyLopez2008 suggested this, I know it's a little short but there wasn't more I could put into it since I plan on doing an extra on Edward's first week of being a father. :)

**Alexandra Elizabeth Cullen**

I wanted to be in that room, but she refused. I could hear her screaming as the nurses asked me to wait in the waiting room. That wasn't happening. My little girl was in there and I'll be damned if Tanya had anything else to do with her.

I heard another scream and the doctor telling her to push one last time. My heart began to pace at the realization that I would have a living, breathing daughter to care for the rest of my life.

They wheeled the baby out of the room almost immediately telling me to follow them. I caught a glance at her and realized she was swaddled in a pink blanket.

She was beautiful. I'd never seen anyone more beautiful then that tiny infant. All of my fear seemed to rush away when they let me hold her.

There were still so many things I needed to do before bringing her home. The most important was of course calling my parent's. My Mom had already decided that she'd come stay a month with me after the baby was born. I felt relieved because honestly I knew nothing about babies. I don't even think I've ever held one before now.

"What's her name, Mr. Cullen?" The nurse interrupted my staring.

"Tanya wanted to name her." It was the least I could do. At first I had thought her request was awkward. If she didn't want this baby then why did she feel the need to name her? Now, it will be the only connection she has with the baby.

The nurse left the room and appeared a few moments later.

"What a beautiful name for such a gorgeous baby." She smiled widely writing the baby's name down on a card. She was no longer Baby Girl Denali. No, now she was Alexandra Elizabeth Cullen.

"Alexa." I whispered to the baby. "You're my everything now."


	10. Week One

**Week One**

_**Day 1**_

As beautiful as my little girl is she sure has a set of lungs on her. I barely got in the front door of the apartment before she went off. Luckily Esme was inside waiting for us.

"Oh Edward!" My Mother had the widest grin on her face as she rushed towards us. Alexa was still wailing and I was already feeling like I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and it was only day one of her being home. Heck, it was only minute one. I can't even imagine how it's going to go from here. "Let me see my Grandbaby." I sat the carrier down so Esme could pick her up. I really hoped she knew what to do to get Alexa to stop crying.

_Bella would know what to do. _

I felt sick just thinking about her. I wasn't supposed to be doing this alone, I was supposed to be by Bella's side as she gave birth to our baby, I was supposed to watch her nurture and care for our child. Instead, here I am the father of another woman's baby. Don't get me wrong I do love Alexa, but I can't help but wish she were Bella's too.

Alexa had finally quieted down after Esme fed her a bottle. I should have known that's what she wanted. Could I really do this single father thing? Was I really cut out for this?

"She looks so much like you, Edward." Esme cooed. I just gave her a smile as I let my head rest in my hands. This was going to be a long day.

_**Day 2**_

My day started at two am. Esme was sleeping when Alexa woke up, so I decided to handle her on my own. I still couldn't believe such a loud shrill scream could come from such a tiny thing. I picked her up gently and rest her on my shoulder. I tried to repeat some of the things I had seen Esme do with her earlier but it seemed that nothing I did helped.

"Please stop crying for Daddy." I pleaded with her. Of course that didn't work and she just kept going. I was so tired and we'd been going at this for the past two hours while Esme slept.

Finally around four thirty Esme came and took Alexa. It seemed that Alexa only liked my Mother, because as soon as Esme cuddled her she stopped crying.

"Baby's can smell fear, Edward." Esme whispered to me. "You just need to relax with her. You aren't going to break her."

I was so thankful that Esme was awake now. She danced around the room singing to Alexa.

"I'm going to be a terrible father." I didn't mean to say it out loud.

"Oh, hush. You're going to do just fine." She didn't stop her singing and dancing. "Now, if you don't mind leaving us alone. I would like to spend some time with my granddaughter."

I went back to bed not meaning to sleep longer then a couple of hours. When awoke it was already noon. I jumped out of bed and rushed towards the living room to find Alexa in her swing fast asleep and Esme watching some soap opera. Esme just looked back at me and smiled before turning her attention back to the TV. I walked over and sat next to her.

"I can't thank you enough for this, Mom." I sighed.

"Being that little girl's grandmother is thanks enough."

_**Day 3**_

The third day Alexa was home was easier then the two days before. I was able to relax a little while holding her but not as much as I should have been. At least I was able to quiet her down so Esme could sleep. After all I would have to do this alone after she left.

"You were hungry, huh?" I didn't feel the least bit silly talking to her as she sucked down her bottle. Her eyes were opened wide watching me.

_**Day 4**_

Esme decided she had some shopping to do which left me completely alone with Alexa for the first time since she's been born. I was even more relaxed now with Alexa. She was warming up to me completely.

"Alright let's see here." I was trying to dress Alexa but it seemed that she didn't want to cooperate since she was so squirmy.

It took half an hour just to get that tiny girl dressed. It was almost six and I knew Esme wouldn't home for another hour or so. I decided to bathe my daughter and get her in bed.

"Edward." I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep until Esme was waking me up. I realized Alexa and I hadn't even made it from the couch. She was curled up on my chest and hadn't moved an inch. "See, you're going to do just fine."

_**Day 5**_

This being a Daddy stuff isn't too hard, even though I knew it'd be much easier if Alexa had a mother. At least we had Esme for the time being.

_**Day 6**_

Today just wasn't Alexa's day. Even Esme couldn't quiet her down. I was mentioning taking her to the hospital when Esme brought her to the sink and gave her a nice warm bath. That seemed to soothe her.

I could tell Esme was beat afterwards so I told her to go to bed. I could handle this. It wasn't so difficult anymore. I wasn't so nervous that I'd hurt her.

I walked into Alexa's room and sat down in the rocking chair that Esme had bought for the room. I started rocking my little girl as I imagined what her life was going to be like as she grew. I couldn't believe she was only eight days old. I wondered how I had spent my life without her before now.

She was perfect and innocent. My angel, my life.

_**Day 7**_

I can do this. One week down and only a million others to go_**.**_


	11. M L Forever

This is explains the night of Lane and Masen's first time. Which was mentioned in Chapter 42. It's in Lane's POV.

**M + L = Forever**

"What are you doing here?!" I whispered out in my quiet bedroom. My amazing boyfriend had climbed through my window scaring me half to death. Of course I hadn't been able to sleep but that wasn't the point. The point was that my parent's could wake up any second and see him here. That would be bad. Very bad.

"Get dressed, we're going out." He had a huge smile on his face as his eyes raked over my body. I was confused at first until I looked down and realized I was in only a tank top and boy shorts. "You're beautiful, you know that?" His voice grew husky as he stalked his way over to me. I backed up a little as he got closer. He stopped when he realized I was growing a little uncomfortable.

We've been together since October. I've been nervous since then to make our relationship more intimate. I knew Masen was ready but I just wasn't sure I could go further right now.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked slipping on a pair of pants and a t-shirt.

"Just trust me." He gave me that crooked grin that'd I'd seen his Dad give his Mom. "You trust me, don't you?" He furrowed his brow a little.

"Of course." I smiled widely. "How could I not?" With that Masen took my hand in his and guided me towards the window. He helped me out, I've never been more thankful that we only have a one story home. I'm deathly afraid of heights so this sneaking out thing would have never been possible.

I noticed he didn't have his truck. Instead he said we were walking towards our destination. It took me awhile to realize we were going to his Grandpa's. He wouldn't tell me anything which just made me even more nervous.

He lead me towards the backyard telling me to cover my eyes. I huffed before covering my eyes with my hands.

"There's this tree that is very special to my parent's. This exact tree." He took my hands from my eyes. My eyes widened in shock as I realized what was carved into the tree under his parent's initials.

_M + L = Forever_

I couldn't help but turn and kiss him with everything in me. It was perfect.

"I love you." I whispered pulling away. I did love him, I've loved him since the first day I saw him in school when I first moved here. He was just unavailable then. Now, he's all mine.

"I love you, too, Delaney May Smith." He smiled and then it was his turn to attack my lips. I somehow found myself with my legs wrapped around his waist.

I didn't mean for it to go as far as it did but I loved him, so why was I so scared of this? He's ready so that should only mean that I'm ready, too. Right?

"Make love to me." I surprised us both.

"Lane…are you sure?" I unwrapped my legs and nodded. I didn't want to speak, just in case something else came out. "I want you to be sure."

"I'm very sure about this Masen." I felt like I was lying in that moment but I couldn't change my mind. I was going to do this whether I liked it or not.

"Alright, just not out here." He cupped my cheek. "Maybe we should go to your place since it will be easier to sneak in." I only nodded before he took my hand and lead me back towards my house.

I was making the right decision. Wasn't I?

* * *

It hurt. It wasn't anything like I thought it would be. It left me feeling empty. I thought my first time with the love my life would be so different. I didn't expect to feel like this afterwards.

It didn't last long but I knew it wouldn't.

"Are you okay?" Masen asked pulling on his pants. I pulled my blanket up closer to my chin. I wanted him to leave so I could take a shower and scrub my body. "I love you, Lane. Thank you." He walked over and kissed my lips lightly.

"I love you, too." That was something I knew I wasn't lying about.

"I'll see you later?"

"I've got practice tomorrow." I lied. I only had soccer practice after school. I was sure he would catch on but he seemed oblivious to it.

"Alright, call me then?"

"Of course." I watched him leave.

I spent the rest of my night and the next day crying wishing we had just waited.


	12. Charlie's Dead!

Not long but it gets my point across. :) I love little Masen.

**Charlie's Dead!**

For Masen's fourth birthday Charlie bought him a gold fish. It was Masen's first pet and I'd never seen my kid so excited about something.

Masen named the fish himself. Charlie.

Charlie the fish became a big deal in Masen's life. Every day when he got home from day care he had to run to feed Charlie. He would watch the fish swim around in his tank for hours.

Two weeks after Masen turned four I heard my son screaming and crying as he entered my bedroom. I was instantly at his side. Masen rarely came into my room without knocking unless it was an emergency, and this looked like an emergency.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked as I kneeled down in front of him and pushed back his dark hair.

"Ch…Char…" He was crying to hard to get the words out.

"Charlie?" I asked stiffening a little.

"He's dead!" Masen screamed and launched himself at me. I was knocked back a little before I realized what he said exactly. I pushed him away so I could look at him.

"What do you mean 'Charlie's dead?'"

"He died, Mommy!" He pointed out my door. "On the floor!"

"Show me." I panicked. Masen quickly grabbed my hand and started dragging me towards the stairs.

"In there, Mommy!" He pointed towards the kitchen once downstairs. I held my breath and closed my eyes preparing myself to see my father lying on the floor dead. I let go of Masen's hand and slowly walked into the kitchen.

I clutched at my heart when I realized which Charlie Masen was actually talking about.

The fish.

That damn fish almost gave me a heart attack.

"Can you save Charlie, Mommy?" I looked back to my find my boy with tears running down his cheeks.

"What happened, Mase?" I asked when I was finally able to catch my breath.

"He wanted to walk…" Masen rubbed at his eyes.

"Oh, Baby. Charlie has to stay in the water or he can't breathe." I bent over and picked Masen up. I kissed his small cheek and wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry, Masen. We'll get you a new fish." I tried.

"No! I want Charlie!" He went into another fit of cries.

"What's going on in here?" Charlie rushed into the room. I realized he had just gotten home from work. If I had only looked out my window I would have known Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, meaning Charlie wasn't home yet.

"Charlie died." I whispered as Masen laid his head on my shoulder and buried his face in my neck. "How about we give him a funeral?" I suggested.

"Outside?" Masen lifted up his head.

"We could flush him instead." Charlie walked over and gently picked the fish up off of the floor.

"No!" Masen screamed. "Mommy, I don't want Charlie to go with all the poopy!" I had to contain my laughter. My son really came up with some funny things.

"Alright, how about we get a box and bury him in the backyard." I rubbed his back. Masen nodded trying to suck up his tears.


	13. Push Me, Uncle Em!

I'm completely stuck right now on writing the new chapter of Into Your Arms, so while I'm trying to get back into that i'm also writing these more. This is in Emmett's POV, I thought it'd be something different. Oh and Masen's about 5 here.

**Push me, Uncle Em!**

"I really have to go Edward." I looked around and realized Bella had made it with Masen. The little guy had the biggest smile on his face. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Please, Em. Anything…" He tried. This was the same thing every time. There were so many times I just wanted to tell him about his son. There were so many times that I wanted to tell him how badly Bella has missed him over the years, but I couldn't. Bella is like a sister to me and I never go back on a promise when it comes to family.

"Emmett!" Bella yelled through my apartment. I had to cough to cover up her voice.

"Who is that?" Edward perked up.

"It's just…Uhm…Alice. Look I'll call you tomorrow or something. Have fun in college or whatever the hell it is you're doing in New York." I spoke quickly and clicked the end button. The stupid ass shouldn't have left, then he wouldn't have to be begging me for answers about Bella.

"Did I interrupt an important call?" Bella lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Just an old friend." I gave her a sad smile. She seemed to understand. I could tell she wanted to ask me how he was, but in all honesty I had no clue. He rarely ever talked about himself in our phone conversations. They were always spent with him trying to pry information out of me about Bella. "Hey, Champ!" I said loudly breaking my eyes away from Bella and over at her son.

Masen looked a lot like Edward. It was almost scary to look at. He carried himself like Edward, too.

"Uncle Em!" Masen ran from my couch and into my arms.

Masen doesn't have his father around, so I try to fill that part in for him. I know I will never fill in Edward's place but I can't help it. Plus, he's the coolest kid I've ever met.

"Come on you two, the park is waiting."

"Em, I know I said I'd go but…I think I'm going to skip out on going to the park. You don't mind…"

"Of course not, Bells." I interrupted her. Bella nodded and then kissed Masen's cheek. He used to freak out whenever she left but these days he seems like he doesn't even realize she's gone. "It's just you and me, little guy." I laughed grabbing my jacket.

Masen talked excitedly about fishing with his Grandpa the entire walk to the park. Apparently the kid was pretty good.

I couldn't help but wonder…why did Bella not want Edward to know about Masen? I mean, Masen has a pretty good life with just Bella but imagine if he actually had his dad around.

"Uncle Em?" Masen tugged on my hand. I expected him to run off towards the playground, that's usually what he did.

"Yeah, kid?" I got down to his level.

"Why is Mommy always sad? Is it because Daddy hasn't come home yet?" He bit his lip, looking a lot like Bella then. I didn't know how to answer him. I had no idea which answer would be the right one. "I wish you were my Daddy, Uncle Em." He sighed before giving me a hug.

"Well…" I started but he cut me off by pulling away from me and giving me a large smile. "What?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Push me on the swing!" He squealed before running towards the swing set.

I just shook my head. He really had a one track mind.

I decided I wouldn't tell Bella about Masen tell me he wished I was his Dad. It would only hurt her more. She had enough of that in her life.

"Push me, Uncle Em!" He yelled across the playground when he realized I was still standing in the same spot. I shook my head and sent him a smile before jogging over.


	14. The Talk

This is the talk between Masen and Lane that occured in chapter 51.

**The Talk**

"Hey, beautiful." I gave my girlfriend the biggest smile I could muster when she walked out of my house. My smile faltered when I realized she looked as if she had been crying. "Lane? What's wrong?"

"We need to talk about something, Masen." She took a deep breath before turning her face away from me. She wouldn't look me in the eye, even when I walked over to her and cupped her cheek. She was so tense.

"Alright." I nodded stepping away. "Are you breaking up with me?" I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"No, Mase. Of course not." She shook her head before grabbing my hands. I rubbed my thumb over the top of her hand. It seemed to soothe her, even though she still didn't relax completely.

"Then what is it?" I asked her.

I shut my eyes tightly when another thought came to mind.

_Oh God, she's pregnant._

"I'm not pregnant." She answered before I even got the question out.

I let out the breath that I hadn't even known I was holding.

Lane finally looked into my eyes at the moment. A shiver went though my body just then. I suddenly wished she was ready for more again…but there was no way in hell I'd push her. That was a mistake I'm not willing to take again.

"Then what is it?" I asked trying to search for something in those beautiful blue eyes.

"I…" She looked away breaking our gaze. "Mase…I got accepted into an art program for the summer."

I smiled. How was that so hard for me to tell me?

"That's awesome, babe." I squeezed her hands that were still in mine.

"No, Masen. It's not in Washington or even close." She whispered. I slowly dropped her hands. I didn't like the sound of this. "It's in Europe…France to be exact…"

"For how long?" I asked afraid of the answer she was about to give me. Lane walked around and leaned up against my truck and started crying.

"Three months. I'm leaving in a week and I'll be back two days before school starts."

"Lane…" I started pacing in front of her clutching at my hair. This was completely unexpected.

"I won't go! I'll stay with you, I'm sorry I even brought it up." She starting crying harder. I just kept pacing with my hands in my hair.

Three months without the girl I loved…could I do it? Could I go that long without seeing her?

For Lane, I'd do anything.

She wanted to go. I could just see it.

She needed to go.

"No." I spoke stopping right in front of her.

"What?" She lifted her head confused.

"You're going." I closed my eyes as I spoke it. I didn't want them to betray me. "You have to go."

"Masen…I…" She shook her head. "Can we handle that?" She whispered.

"We'll have to." I said stepping closer and taking her hands again. "I love you too much to let you miss this opportunity, Lane."

"I love you, Masen Anthony Swan. I'll never love another like I love you." She took her hands out of mine before she reached forward and wrapped her small arms around my neck. I wrapped mine around her waist and just held her there as she cried.

As much as I hated the thought of Lane leaving, I couldn't tell her to stay. I knew my girl and I knew she'd regret not going, and I refuse to be that reason.

Plus it's only three months. That's not too long.

We could get through this.

I think.


	15. The Birds And The Bees

**The Birds And The Bees**

"Masen, kid, how about we have a chat." I glanced up from my essay. Uncle Emmett was towering over me and by the look on his face I wasn't too sure I wanted to have that chat.

"Umm, okay?" I turned around a little in my seat.

"Well, you're fourteen now and your Mama thinks it's time you have the birds and the bees talk. So, I volunteered." I widened my eyes. There is no way this is happening right now. The last thing I want to do is talk to my uncle about _that._ Sure, he's like a Dad to me…but…no.

"I don't think I need that…" I turned back around to my paper.

"We think you do, so turn back around and listen up." He said sternly.

"Can we not do this?" I groaned.

"You have no reason to be embarrassed, Masen. If anyone I'm the one who you should talk to, I understand this kind of stuff. I'd rather you get your info from me then Jacob." Uncle Em didn't like Jacob too much. "Now, let's start with the easy stuff." He pulled up a chair and sat next to me. "You've masturbated, right?"

"Oh God, you did not just ask me that…"

"No need to be embarrassed, we all do it." He looked proud when he said that. "So…have you?" He urged on.

"I…" I couldn't finish. "Ummm…yeah…" I looked away. I'm pretty sure I was blushing. I mentally slapped myself on the face for acting like a girl. It's Uncle Emmett…I shouldn't be embarrassed.

"I thought so! Your mom mentioned to me once that you spent a lot of time in the bathroom…" He started to go on but I stopped him.

"Uncle Emmett!"

"Look all I'm trying to do is talk to you, don't get all embarrassed about this. I didn't have this talk and well…okay I turned out okay but that's beside my point here. Just wrap it before you tap it."

"Oh my God…" I groaned.

"What? Your Dad didn't listen to me! I figure I could get it planted into someone's head." He shook his head at me. "Look sex isn't a bad thing, all of us do it. It's a way of life. I mean I couldn't go without it, so I don't expect you to…honestly I think I was your age when I lost my virginity…"

"Okay, I've got it. I think this is over now."

"Hey! You didn't let me…"

"It's okay, Uncle Emmett. I know enough now, thanks." I turned back towards my essay. There was no way I was letting that talk go on any longer. I'd rather not hear about my Uncle's sex life or whether he can go without it ornot.


	16. Mr and Mrs Cullen

Not much but here's a little bit from their honeymoon. :) keep sending me suggestions for extra's. If you want I can do more from the honeymoon.

**Mr. and Mrs. Cullen**

The past forty-eight hours have been pure bliss. I don't even think I could explain how exactly amazing it's been since I married Edward just two days ago. I'm still in awe with how things have worked out for us.

"Bella…where are you?" I heard my _husband _whine from bed. I was standing outside enjoying the view after waking up after a long night. We'd been in Hawaii for a day now and this was the first time I was actually able to enjoy how beautiful it was, not that I minded not seeing it before. Since the reason for that was my amazing _husband._

_Husband._

I just loved the way it sounded.

_Edward Cullen is my husband. _

I'm so lucky.

"Just enjoying the view, Mr. Cullen" I smiled walking back into the hotel room. Edward sat up a little smirked at me.

"Mmm…me too, Mrs. Cullen." I just laughed and ran so I could hop on the bed. I straddled his waist and started kissing down his chest.

"Can you believe this?" I asked scooting up and resting in his arms.

"That we are married?" He asked and I nodded. "I've dreamt of this for years, so yeah I can believe this." He kissed the top of my head.

"I have a question for you." I traced invisible circles on his stomach.

"And that is?"

"Was I the only one that didn't know you could walk again?" I knew he had been keeping it a secret from me but I wasn't sure if he was keeping it from everyone else.

"You and Alice." He chuckled. I gave him a strange look. "She would have told you."

"She would have. It was a nice surprise, Edward." It was a perfect surprise.

"I thought you were going to faint when you first saw me."

"I felt like I was. It was very unexpected to see you standing there." I told him.

"I know."

"So, how'd you do it?"

"Do what?" He questioned.

"Keep it from me for so long." I straddled his hips again and laid my head down so it was resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed.

"I'm really not sure. It was rather difficult." He chuckled. "That whole month I wanted nothing more then to walk and build up my strength, which is why I was at the gym so much. A couple of times I almost slipped with it."

"Everything is beyond perfect. I couldn't ask for anything more." I whispered. Edward ran his hand through my hair.

"Me either." He lifted up my chin and kissed me passionately.


	17. Masen's 1st Birthday

**Masen's 1st Birthday**

It's been a long year. The longest that I can even imagine but at the same time it's gone by so quickly. A year ago today I was giving birth to my son. It was quite possibly the worst birth ever but still, here I am exactly one year later watching him dig into the small cake Alice insisted we get him.

As I watch him I can't help but think back on the year of having him in my life. It's been insane. I'm not even sure how a grown woman handle's motherhood let alone me, a 17 year old girl. Then there's the fact that I'm doing it without Masen's Dad. Which I know is entirely my choice, so there's no one to blame for that but myself.

"Mama!" I'm thrown out of my thoughts by the screams my little boy is making. Everyone is fussing over him but he doesn't care, all he wants is my attention.

"Oh, Masen you're a mess." I laughed taking the towel Alice had given me and wiping his chubby cheeks. He's covered from head to toe in the chocolate cake. I pulled him out of his highchair even though my Mother, Renee is telling me to leave him there so she can take more pictures.

"Bella, he only turns one once. Let me get a few more pictures." She urged.

"You can get more pictures once he's cleaned up." I told her. I looked down hoping Masen would be in the same spot I sat him but of course he had gotten away from me as quickly as possible. Two months ago he learned how to walk, now I'm regretting ever teaching him. He's become such a handful since then, since he completely skipped crawling.

I found him in the arms of Jasper, who was laughing wildly. I sighed happily, I really have no idea what I would do without the help of my friends and parent's.

"Look's like he got away." Jasper smiled handing over my bronze hair baby boy. "I can't believe it's already been a year." Jasper sighed putting his hands in his pockets once I had Masen in my arms. I wrapped the towel around him quickly.

"I know what you mean." I tried to smile.

"You know, he misses you." Jasper tried.

"He's better without us." I said simply and walked away. I was already feeling enough pain that I didn't need to add anymore onto it. I decided to focus on getting Masen cleaned up so we could hurry up and finish the party. I didn't think he needed such a big deal in the first place. Sure, he only turns one once but he'll never remember this. All he really needed was me, his grandparents, Alice, Jasper and Emmett there but Alice had insisted we throw him a big to do. I swear half of the town was in my dad's living room right now.

The party ended a few hours later. Masen was finally starting to wind down from all of the sugar he had been fed throughout the day.

"Happy Birthday, baby boy." I whispered cradling him in my arms. I was surprised he was letting me hold him. Lately he hated being babied. He wanted to be up and going like a big boy.

"There is no way that it's already been a freaking year." Alice startled me when she walked into my bedroom. She had sent me upstairs while she and my parent's cleaned up the party mess.

"That's the same thing I've been thinking." I sighed looking down at Masen. He was fast asleep. I excused myself quickly and put him in his room. I walked back into my room and found Alice sitting on my bed sorting through pictures.

Sometimes I wish that I could be living Alice's life. She was about to be a senior in high school, if I hadn't had gotten pregnant with Masen and gotten out of high school so quickly I would be in her shoes right now. I would be able to go out and party like a normal teenager. I'd have normal teenage worries. No, instead I have worries that only older women should have.

But, Masen is a blessing. He has saved me and I can't thank him enough for that. Sure, I'd have a free life without him but I'm sure I'd also be miserable missing his father. I miss Edward now but everyday I get to see him in our son so it helps me miss him a little less.

"This was right before Edward left…remember? We had that double date…"

"And Jasper got sick and threw up in the back of Edward's Volvo." I laughed finishing the memory for her.

"Are you ever going to show Masen these?" Alice asked me.

"I haven't decided yet. He's so young now, but maybe when he's older." I just shrugged and bit down on my lower lip.

"You're a great Mother, Bella. I hope you never doubt that." I looked up and smiled at her. That meant a lot. "I mean he's already a year old and you haven't managed to break him yet."


	18. Alexa's 1st Birthday

Alexa's 1st Birthday

Her party hasn't even started yet and it's already a disaster. I shouldn't have let my Mom talk me into such a big thing for her. Hell, she's only turning one she won't even remember this. Especially that freaky ass clown that's sitting in my living room. Then again the birthday girl does seem to like him. I have never heard her giggle like that.

But, the clown isn't the disaster. No, her birthday cake is.

_Happy 80th Birthday, Stella._

First of all my daughter isn't turning 80 she's turning 1 and her name isn't Stella. Not even close. I knew I should have gone to pick the cake up myself but instead I let my idiot of a best friend go pick it up.

"I'm sorry, Man. Look can't you like smear it or something…She'll never know." James laughed. I just looked over and glared at him. If we weren't leaving in a matter of days to go back to Fork's, I swear I would kick his ass right now.

"You're lucky she won't remember this." I sighed running a hand through my hair. At least he didn't ruin her personal cake. Hell, even a monkey couldn't even mess that part up.

The guests started to arrive an hour later. I wasn't really paying attention to anyone but my princess. She really did look like one, my Mom made sure of that. My Mom was spending the weekend with us because she refused to miss Alexa's first birthday. I didn't mind, she helped out a lot with my daughter. Plus, Alexa adored my Mom. She was really the only woman in her life.

After everything I decided to stop sleeping around. I decided to drop every woman in my life besides my daughter and Mother. They were the only two that counted anyways. Then there was the fact that I had Alexa to look after, I didn't want to bring too many women into her life since I knew none of them would ever be serious. She deserved more then that.

My apartment really wasn't fit for so many people but Alexa was enjoying herself. My one year old loved being the center of attention. Heck, I couldn't blame these people for fawning all over her, she was a beautiful child.

I sighed and just watched her. I knew she needed a stead woman in life, besides my Mom but there was only one woman I would ever want to get serious with again but I'm pretty sure that one will never want anything to do with me. It's been sixteen years since I've seen her, I still can't believe that I would be seeing her soon. Or at least I hoped to be seeing her soon. I wasn't even sure if she still lived in Fork's or if she had left like she always wanted.

I shook my head. I didn't want to think about it. That was in the past and she wasn't even the reason I was moving back to Fork's with Alexa. I wanted my daughter to grow up some place nice, some place that wasn't like the hustle and bustle of New York.

"It's already been a damn year." James startled me leaning up against the counter next to me. I just let out a laugh as he handed me a beer. I looked at it then popped the top. One beer wouldn't hurt. I needed to loosen up a little anyway. "Have you heard from Tanya?" He asked.

"She doesn't care about Alexa." I told him.

"But she's her Mom…I thought…"

"She has no rights to Alexa, she gave her up so no I haven't heard from her."

"Sorry, man." He clapped my on my shoulder.

"I'm not worried about it. Her loss. I'm too selfish to share my daughter anyway." I shrugged sitting the beer down and walking off to look for my princess.

When it was time for the cake I had to explain to everyone how dumb James was. Mom pulled Alexa's dress off of her and tied back her hair before sitting the little cake in front of her where she set in her highchair.

Alexa went to town and made the biggest mess possible. I could really care less, hell she only turns one once. She looked to be enjoying all of that sugar. I couldn't wait to deal with the after effects; not.


End file.
